...and I don't mean elephants! It's swimming season (or almost that time for you in the land of the cold and dreary), and there's not much worse than wearing the wrong bathing suit.
Picking a bathing suit isn't rocket science, if you know what to avoid. Here are some tips:
-- long, baggy shorts should be left to those in high school. if you've graduated high school, or are at least over the age of 18, pick something else. if you shorts hang below your knees - they're too short. opt for something a few inches above the knee for a more refined, elegant look.
-- avoid trunks that are too short, or too tight for that matter. i don't care how many hours you spent in the gym while everyone else was out drinking their weight in beer and poorly mixed cocktails. under no circumstances should you venture to the local water hole wearing swim trunks that are too short, or too tight. the traditional speedo type racing brief was created for aerodynamics and professional swimmers, not for trips to the beach or lazy days at the pool.
-- if you've got a few extra pounds, avoid elastic waistbands. opt for the more classic styling like a snap-front board short. elastic waistbands are engineered to cling to your hips, so if you have a little excess weight, you'll end up looking like 5 pounds of sugar in a 4 pound bag. not cute.
Once you've got the perfect suit for you, it's time for fun in the sun. Just be smart, and remember your sunscreen. No matter how great your bathing suit may be, if you're sunburnt and blistered, you'll never be en vogue.